Saturday, January 20, 2007

My Horoscope for Today, 1/20/07


I got a real sardonic laugh from reading my horoscope today. It seems that the Zodiac, or at least the writer of the astrological forecast for me, a Capricorn, likes to take a little 'dig' every now and then, rubbing it in, so to say. Let's examine it, by each of it's four sentences.

Capricorn:
It might be a great relief now that the spotlight is no longer on you. Wow. I have had no electricity since last Monday here at the house, until last evening, thanks to the first ice storm Oklahoma got last weekend. Same story at the casino where I work, through Wednesday. I WISH THAT I HAD BEEN IN A SPOTLIGHT THIS WEEK; BETTER YET, A HEAT LAMP.
You were hampered by your high visibility, so you are quite eager to get back to your work, instead of having to perform for an audience. Unless you were peeking under my quilts at me, very little visibility there. I did get out and check on elderly women in the town I know, maybe that's what the Zodiac meant. Yes, and I was glad to get back to work Wednesday, to a warm place, and running water, and an unfrozen toilet seat. Performing there is what I do, dumbass, and I kinda like it and the accompanying drama.
Find your own natural rhythm and stick to it. My natural rhythm is not to shiver in the dim light of a oil lamp, the fireplace, and a Coleman stove. My natural rhythm is also to sleep more than only 2 hours at a time, undisturbed by sounds of crashing tree limbs and nearby crashing cars. Add to that rhythm a daily hot shower...
Remember, you can be useful to others only if you are being true to yourself. Now that's just high brow gibberish. After a week in the freezing dark, this wisdom is what is waiting for me, once the electric comes back on? Makes me wish I was a Gemini... ughhhh.
Why not start a new and improved Zodiac and Horoscope for the 21st century? Something with fewer lofty platitudes and heavy on good solid advice? Now there's a Million Dollar idea in there somewhere! I can see it now:
Capricorn: Did you balance your checkbook lately? Betcha forgot about that ATM withdrawal, better look again, dummy. Ace hardware has a sale right now on Generators. Dont' put it off. Don't rely on your chickens to lay in bad cold weather. Do something nice for a Gemini today-- they need help.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just so funny. I like the way yoou think, man. But do you put a lot into the astrology reading in the first place? sooo 20th century, dude.