Sunday, May 13, 2007

UNKNOWN 'soldier", in a BIGGER WAR



A SPIRIT HEADED FOR ITS JUDGMENT AFORE GOD, FOR GLORY, PONDERS THE FOLLOWING:


How could I have survived all that which befell me? All at once, like that? No one could survive all that,


**I don't think you could either, I didn't --" - a voice from Above is heard...


**OVERHEARD RECENTLY, BELOW**


"Do you suppose that he knew he was dying? Dat' he wuz dat close? I mean, by just the way he smelled, when he cum 'round my place uh week uhgo, Whuh, I thought he smelt like he'us close to death: At least, I thunk he smelled like death, .... like Death, 'isself."



No, he never knew; I mean, like who ever knows that they're dying, except people who got cancer, unoperable cancer, er something like that-...


No, he didn't know he was dying, unless he was psycho--, Er, I mean psychic; someone who can see the future, hiz own future, ya know?


--But he did smell awful bad last Sunday when I seen him here for Church.
"Yer right, he smelt like death, now that I think about it, he smelt like death.
Like Death Itself..."


"Did you ovurhhear dat he'd planned his own funeral service, right down to the music? And I've heard tell, that he even recorded his own eulogy wurds on film, to show at hiz funeral, and he payed fer it to be showed, ahead ah time?!?


He was an odd sort of guy, and now, fer him to do this, that's all I need to decide fer myself that He Wuz Nuts! 'Fukkin' Nuts,... as Nutty as a fruitcake, ever since his momma died."
Whut kiind of music did he plan fer his service? I won't sit still fer no rock-n-roll bullshit, even if it is at a funeral... I don't like that crap.


Naw, I heard from Bill Evans that he put some kinda old nigger music on a compact disc, some ole-timey-nigger stuff, all piano-music playin', an' some comments of hizz-own on a CD, and he paid fer it to git played at his funeral, like some damm TV show, some bullshit commentary fer us all to listen to, iffen we go to it.


You akiddin' me?


He put some uv his own music favorites into his funeral? Well, Gawd-damn, he sure-az-hell had some nerve, recordin' that for his funeral, forcing us-all tuh have to hear it.


Yeah, he had some balls, to do that; but that wuz the kinda music he liked ta listen to, all that ole caliope, ole carnival crap, like the old-fashioned, Sundie-In-the-Park-Shit, frum some band made up of trumpets, a drum and a piano.....


Well, I ain't gonna stand up, or applaude when thet music starts, OR when it ends, I tell ya... I won't accept that shit, even for him, at his own gawddaamm funeral. I mean, "Gawd, what else?"


"No, me neither..., it's just that he was such a local malcontent, it's no wonder that he didn't go along with the crowd of us all, the rest of us, in liking regular music....
"His momma only died about 12 or 13 years ago, didn't she? Woulda Betty've liked this bullshit, ata funeral? I say that 'no, she wouldn't', she wouldda gone by what dictates we all have, and abided by'em, no matter what,' pausing only momentarily he added, "Would you like a slugga dis whiskey, Ben?"


"Naw, Dan, I got meh own flask, here. Hell no, Betty wouldn't have stood fer this. An' that's sayin' alot, right there.... The 'old' ways uv using a funeral to convert the company to Christianity, no matter what, those ways are gone..."


"Yeup, gone and dun for, those old ways. Now-a-days, some young fuk has the nerve to dictate hiz own funeral, and the funeral home abides by it-- that's a bad sign. We'd better nip it, nip it now."


"Do ya hear that music in there, fer Chrissake? It sounds like a damn juke box ina ole' beerjoint, fer Chrissake....."




******REST IN PEACE, ALL YOU NON-LINEAR THINKERS******

5 comments:

Balcominic, tres.1~~ said...

listen, that was good!! despite all the mal- warnings,

THAT TASTED GOOD!

The Localmalcontent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Localmalcontent said...

UH, WTF??

I am the only Local Malcontent, here. The above comment IS NOT mine, despite the identical nomenclature, i.e. thelocalmalcontebnt....

Not the Original, I am! And I don't even understand your response!

Dedee W. said...

Dude that is the strangeest shit I
ve ever read. I s this your funeral, or someone elses? Is this for real, or just crapp??
I like to think that my fumeral is my choices, no one elses. This makes me wonder.

The Localmalcontent said...

dedee, this is a conversation between two guys who are so stuck in their ways, that they can't even for-one-minute bend and try hearing of some dead soul's preferences.

Any similarity to living people is purely deliberate!