Monday, October 15, 2007

This week's Episode of "Those Wacky Democrats"

Time once again, to look in on our favorite ragamuffins, Those Wacky Democrats, and see what nonsense they're up to this week.

Senator Christopher Dodd hates going to the ballgame alone. So he thought up a purely Democrat idea: Raffle off a pair of tickets to sit with the Senator at a Boston Red Sox game against the Indians. For a mere $20.04 donation to his flailing presidential campaign, a randomly selected name would be chosen to attend.
But watch out Chris! That's illegal, and unethical! No matter, until Major League Baseball got wind of the scheme.
Out at Home, Chris!

In what must be the strangest place for Hillary to campaign so far this political season, Hillary explains that it is her "... consistent message that breaks through and gives people confidence that you are not only just talking about change, but have the strength and experience to make change happen." Where, pray tell, did Hillary say this?
on Obama's campaign website

And where is Obama? He's knocking on front doors, door to door, pleading for people to listen to him. Said one astonished Des Monies, Iowa woman: "I'm flabbergasted that he's here knocking on my neighborhood door". At one stop, Obama got a warm welcome from a woman who said the visit might persuade her to attend the Democratic presidential caucus in January... or buy a home alarm system that will keep things like this from happening. Again, from Obama's own site
Not to be outdone, John Edwards was up in New Hampshire, stirring up environmentalists and hippies. He received an endorsement from "Friends of the Earth Action", The San Francisco-based sister organization of Friends of the Earth praised Edwards for his plans to cap greenhouse gas emissions and create a new fund to invest in renewable energy, and for his opposition to building new nuclear plants. "We are endorsing John Edwards because we believe he is the candidate most committed, and best prepared to halt global warming and promote a healthy, livable planet for our families and our future," said FEA president Brent Blackwelder, as he adjusted his aluminum foil hat.
Invoking John F. Kennedy's inaugural address, Edwards issued a call to public sacrifice and conservation. That's exactly what America wants to hear, isn't it? Things are bad, getting worse.

Standing short at 5'7" tall, Dennis Kucinich has always been the favorite target of political jokes from left and right in the media. But no matter how funny looking he seemed to be to others who even consider him a hobbit from Lord of the Rings, Dennis Kucinich has a lot more to offer than his looks. It's called "Bush's Fault syndrome" Don't worry, though- Nothing about Dennis Kucinich is contagious.

It is not unusual for one candidate to trail another in one state or another, but Senator Joe Biden is badly lagging Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton, among First Staters, according to a poll released Friday by a difference of 41% for her, 19% for Biden. In Delaware.

And poor Bill Richardson, he can't get no respect! Sen. Charles Schumer, the Senate Democratic campaign chairman, is pressing the New Mexico Governor to give up his presidential bid and run for his state's Senate seat held by retiring Republican Sen. Pete Domenici. Slick move, Hillary! But Bill's aiming for the Veep, confident in his ability to reach illegal immigrant Mexican voters in four western states, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico. Can you say No way, Jose?

Let's say goodbye to the dirty little pack of scavengers for now, and tune in again next week, when we'll hear Hillary say: "Did I say '$5,000. to every chile, and $1,000 for every person'? Wah, Heyll, that ain't near enough!" to her fellow Kentuckians. And we'll listen closely to hear the whispering voice of Mike Gravel say, "Can anybody hear me?"

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