Saturday, February 23, 2008

HON: I've got Bad News for You


NO OTHER WARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED
"My desk chair is uncomfortable," he whined, as he shifted. "Nowadays, I have to sit on a cushion from my lawn chairs, to be comfortable."

My once-wonderful desk chair, covered in genuine, black Naugahyde, is now a shadow of it's former self.
The upholstry is ovally rippled now, to the former form of a slenderer seat. And to the point where today, I couldn't stand it another minute, and sought out its warranty, hoping against real hope, that it covered the spreading obesity of the American consumer in addition to normal wear and tear. Or that my spreading was in fact, normal wear and/or tear.

NOPE.

The online HON manufacturer website says, in no uncertain terms: "Normal commercial usage for seating is defined as the equivalent of a single shift, forty (40) hour work-week. To the extent that a seating product is used in a manner exceeding this, the applicable warranty period will be reduced in a pro-rata manner." And later on this: "models are warranted for multiple shifts and carry a 350 pound rating (350 pounds per seat for models with more than one seat). Versant™ Bariatric models HCB50 and HR50, are warranted with a 500 pound rating."

That gave me encouragement! I am still just over 100 pounds Under their warrantied coverage!~ Until I read further down the warranty statement, finding this:

NOTICE TO PURCHASERS FOR HOME OR PERSONAL USE: "Federal law does not permit the exclusion of certain implied warranties for consumer products. Therefore, if you are purchasing this product for home or personal use, the implied warranties noted in the above paragraph do not apply to you." Their EXACT quote~!

Why don't they just come out, and call me a FatA$$?
Shoot, I'm already used to being called a "BlanketA$$".

It seems that my 'growing influence' has had a detrimental effect on my desk chair, and therefore my comfort thereupon, ... and on and on, one aspect giving (uncomfortable) rise to the the other,
skidding down a slope I can not escape, while seated in my desk chair.

Pyramid™
"Generous proportions and user-friendly controls ensure around-the-clock comfort. Specifically designed with exceptional durability" their advertisment claims.

Only, I suppose, if you are not an online-working and blogging guy. But I will give HON manufacturing this much, this chair DOES feel as if I am sitting atop a Pyramid now....

1 comment:

CGHill said...

I have managed to keep one of these things alive, sort of, for six years now, but gawd, it's unsightly. Of course, when you consider what's been in it for those six years, you might wonder why it's even still in existence.