Friday, March 28, 2008

The Punkin' Carving Contest

The year was 2000, and the Casino in McAlester was having a punkin' carving contest among the employees... maybe two dozen people or so.

Some of the early contestants were "Cute", but stood no chance really, as they withered on the display tables, one by one.

Being a quick learner myself, I suspected bacteria.

So I sat down and thought and thought and thought, of what my punkin' would, could be.

And I had a brainstorm. Rather than carve a punkin', I'd decorate one. Bizarrely, too, as it was All Hallows' Eve.

I bought first a large, very smooth punkin', and a supply of Play-Doh. I messed around with the play-doh until I got some brown-coloured clay, which matched my punkin's stump on top, and set that aside.

I made my punkin' some play-doh eyes of red, and some very arched eye brows of orange.
And a smallish nose, and a big circular mouth.

I made my punkin' some arms of orange, with white gloves (ala Mickey Mouse) on his hands, and fashioned them in the shapes I wanted for my punkin' to dry. I inserted some toothpicks into his arms' ends, to facilitate attachment later, when they'd dried.

Then I really began: I made about 30 or so little clay stumps, from brown play-doh, and placed them onto punkin's head, where they were to dry. All over his head-- even in the back, attached again with toothpicks.

So now my punkin' has more than thirty stumps all over his head, identical to the one he started out with. His eyes, nose, mouth ring, saying "OOOhh", were setting. His arms were drying in the oven.

The final fixture to my masterpiece was a box of Marlboro 100s. Not the cigarettes, but the box. I carefully wrapped the cigarette box with white typing paper, making sure that the paper's edges were unseen, looking like a package.

I attached punkin's arms to his head. One arm was fashioned to be feeling of the stumps up on top of his head. The other arm was fashioned to hold the white box, out away from his body.

Can you picture that, now??

On the box, I wrote these words: "Rogaine For Pumpkins". I even drew a little punkin' example on the box, with growing, flowing hair, ...but the little fella's results were frightfully wrong!! WRONG!

STUMPS, instead of hair.

"Rogaine for Pumpkins" won hands down.


Jungle Mom said...

What? No picture????

The Localmalcontent said...

I think photos of Punkin' were made, by others, whom I don't know now.
I have an aversion to cameras, but I'm taking thearapy.