Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Letting Go and Letting God Take Over

I envy bloggers who have the talent of expressing their ideas in two paragraphs or less, as opposed to my tendency to run off at the mouth (fingers?) here, with 14 thick paragraphs to say one thing. Haha

Brevity being the soul of Wit, and all.

Unfortunately for you, I won't be doing that here, I fear.

Because somewhere in my makeup internally, I am a minister, a priest or pastor. --Not that these evangelical leaders are looong winded-- no. It's that I seem to have the knack for seeing that many topics are inter-related, and as such, need to be said also, in and for context. That, plus I love to embed hidden secret messages into whatever I write, much like a parable does.

With that in mind, here's 'today's sermon'.
When I was fired last fall from the Choctaw nation, you may have inferred that I went through a period of depression and self-doubt. The moments of panic would set in on cold nights, when I began to think about how tough it would be to find another good job here in lonely, rural Latimer county, Oklahoma.

But in, and through my prayers, I remembered to count my countless blessings, instead of the few irritating problems of the moment. I completely gave over my worries and fears to Jesus, for Him to handle... for I could easily see that His Works are perfect; His timing and His ways of working out solutions are the best.

So I let go, and I let God take over.
Oh, man, that wasn't all that easy for me, let me tell you (some other time!)!

And at first, I could not see any immediate difference, nor any thunderous changes as I'd hoped. But Jesus gently reminded me that that wasn't His way, not His modus operandi. Nor was that fully 'letting go and letting God', either.

In only a matter of days really, I noticed a job opening with the state of Oklahoma auditing Indian casinos: an avenue which I had never ever considered pursuing although I knew alot of what auditors did in casinos.

I applied for the job. Had to take a state Merit test in Oklahoma City for it; and passed with a score so high, I was told confidentially that I was the number two candidate in all of Oklahoma for the opening.

But I did not allow that compliment go to my head, or attribute it to myself. I wasn't in charge, I reminded myself. And when I drove to Oklahoma City for the interviews, I asked Jesus Christ to speak on my behalf through me and my answers. Both times, both interviews, it felt as if the questions were too easy, that there must be some trick involved. Would these people be put off by my long hair? Was I too Indian looking, maybe too militant looking?

("Let go, My child, and let Me handle this", Jesus whispered.) And I love my new job so much now, I leave for work assignments sometimes an hour early.

But Jesus wasn't done with me- He did/does even more!!

Through a friend of mine who is an elderly, cranky, ill-tempered woman (yeah, Wanda...), I have met the sweetest girl, Leticia, who may well become Mrs. Malcontent someday. I'd like that, if Jesus wants it.
And at least one of you readers can confirm, that once upon a time I thought I would never get married (Remember, Father Gregori?), because I cannot biologically have children.

And my two closest neighbors even! Who I once only thought of as two middle-aged pot smoking hippies, instead are two of the nicest, God-loving and enjoyable folks I could know. I only needed my Savior Jesus to lift the beams from my eyes, and really look at them.

Even the tornado my little town Yanush experienced earlier this month, was a God-sent blessing: An opportunity for me to be an angel of God to minister to others in his flock.

That small tornado did not damage my home here. Nor did it destroy the little nest of Mockingbirds, my beloved, seasonal tenants behind my garage. The ones who serenade me every morning with their songs of praise to God.
Through seeing that little miracle, Jesus again gently reminded me of one of my most favorite passages of scripture. It is Matthew 6:25-26. If you are unfamiliar with these verses, go get your Bible right now, and read it.

There is a greater lesson here, though. One that I am only beginning to recognize, and one which I hope to be continually taught every moment and every day: I will cease to take the credit for blessings in my life, rather giving the tribute to Whom it belongs! Letting go and letting God direct my life is sure the right thing alright, BUT also understanding that He needs me too, and you also, to be His instruments of action here on Earth, and within His time frame.

If you'd like to, here is a YouTube video of my favorite hymn of worship being sung very well. I hope hearing it will be a blessing to you too.
It's also from whence I derive the phrase "Loving lifted" from... , here at the LMC bloggie.


DON SMITH said...

"Be Still And Know That I Am God."

Well said my friend.

Col. B. Bunny said...

I always like the Russian proverb that Solzhenitsyn mentioned in The Gulag Archipelago (world's second greatest book, btw): Don't be too quick to weep, or too quick to rejoice.

What seems like a disaster at the time can be, well, a disaster, but it can lead to unexpected trails. I once told some young people who were on the first day of their internship at a federal agency. I told them the most dangerous time in their career is when someone calls them up and says, "You've got the job." That leads to complacency and expediency and we stop striving for or even thinking about what would really be an even better job. We love the rush of new income and then lose our edge.

I glanced at what you wrote about your favorite hymn and clicked on the link out of curiosity without paying close attention to your words. While I was waiting for the page to open I was thinking to myself, "What's the name of that hymn I like so much . . . . Oh, yeah, 'Love Lifted Me.'"

That version is a bit wimpy for my taste. There's a more powerful version with just a piano somewhere that gets my blood flowing a bit more.

Jungle Mom said...

I enjoyed that so much. A great testimony of faith and growth.
Off to listen to the hymn.

theotherryan said...

I am glad that things are going well.

Abouna said...

Letting go and letting God, is what I am trying to do as far as the future of America goes. If we continue on our downward slide, then it is in God's hands.

I wish you the best of luck with Leticia. And always remember, there are other, just as rewarding ways, to be a dad even if the plumbing don't work the way it should.

Everything works out according to God's plan. We just have to learn to shut up and get out of His way.

Anonymous said...

When I was first diagnosed with a rare blood based cancer and given five years to live, I decided to "Let go, and let GOD". I did not pray for a cure, nor did I attempt to bargain for a "deal". I did not spend my days in fear or in apprehension but settled my life comfortably into GOD's all knowing Will. And I meant it! I totally, completely, and absolutely put my faith in GOD's loving hands.

What I got back in return so completely altered John Allen Waldron, that he evolved into "Brother John".

I knew real peace for the first time in my life. I developed a huge sense of humor. I became compassionate about the needs of others along with a need to help where I could. And I discovered a really large truth!

GOD loves me! It humbles me and fills me with wonder. HE loves me! I mean... REALLY LOVES ME! Wow! (I know, I sound a bit like Sally Field :) )

I am so thankful and so grateful that I got to learn this BEFORE being cured of cancer. That (the cure) was sure nice... was wonderful in fact... a true miracle... GOT the good news on the actual day of my birthday, but all paled in comparison to the realization of GOD's unwavering and unconditional LOVE.

Because the truth is (and I ABSOLUTELY mean this!), it would NOT have mattered had GOD's Will not included a cure. That is the true beauty of my renewed relationship with HIM.

I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping, a woodpecker drilling for food, the haunting sound of the Mourning Dove, the sweet call of the Cardinal. All GOD's creatures, living under GOD's care, well and content and singing HIS praise.

Brother John
Lansdowne, Pennsylvania USA

Jungle Mom said...

BTW, I am expecting a visit from my grand daughter!!! Not A BABY!!!

The Localmalcontent said...

Almost forgotten by me was this other significant blessing:

My tremendous Internet blogging friends. Each of ya'll, and certainly others also, are very dear to me; and knowing that I might be remembered in prayer to God from you, from locales ranging from all points around the U.S., overwhelms me!

Please know that each of you are lifted in prayer from little me in Oklahoma each day as well.

My heartfelt thanks for your warm replies here!!