Sunday, July 27, 2008

Your Astrology Forecast: If You Are Born West of Cincinnati And Zeta Reticuli 2

My obvious devotion to reading and following my daily horoscope and my upcoming nuptials on a night of a December New Moon, have given me some tremendous inspiration to comment here upon Astrology tonight.

-- That, and I had a moment with my Creator's Undivided Attention while in high, thin mountain air last night, as I watched the motions of the planets, stars, Milky Way galaxy, UFOs, falling stars, and lightning bugs... !

IF astrology is defined as 'the effects upon every human's life caused by the movements of our 9+/- planets, what will the astrological forecast be for the first child born on Mars or our moon Luna? What effect will Earth have on him or her, from that heavenly body?
Moreover, if our little neighborhood of planets causes such daily, divergent effects upon each of us,

then why not the other, recently discovered, nearby gaseous giant planets as well?

And IF, these huge behemoth planets and our little moon can direct our daily lives so well, why are not all the moons of Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, and Pluto included to a lesser degree, in the twelve forecasts of the Zodiac?
Why not include all big, moving, behemoth bodies as well? Like falling stars, comets, river barges and oil tankers?
Or more personally speaking, do bears and chickens and fireflies and beetles have zodiacal influence as well???
That however, assumes no difference between we humans and them other thingies.

But if one accepts the "truth" of astrological forecasts for ones' self, then the whole master plan should apply to every living thing accordingly, from Mayflies to giant Sequoia trees! Astrologers make zodiacal forecasts for such entities as nations, businesses, baseball teams (*the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox are both Geminis, wouldn't ya know...), then the one-trillion housefly maggots born since you began reading this, are all Leos, and will bite you when Uranus is setting.

Astrology was invented by the Persians, so recently that when they/he/she did come up with a reason for women's cycles, and their correlation with our moon's position relative to the Earth, that there were only five planets known in the skies: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Jupiter. And of course, Luna and Sol.
That made him/her/them think "Humm, that equals seven heavenly bodies. Seven. Seven is a significant number, and maybe I can make seven hundred shekels for this nonsense, if I wrap it in pretty paper and a bow and sell it in the marketplace."

Smart. But Silly. Silly beyond words.

Back to the movement of large bodies, their gravities upon the newborn:
Shouldn't their horoscope read something like this?:

VIRGO-- The moon is in Sagittarius, and the Exxon Valdez is in Prince William's Sound, Mars is crossing Uranus, and your big Jovian moon is Full. Watch out for that traffic ticket, you moron. Your car will experience an oil leak, so keep track of your dashboard indicators. With the moon sextile Neptune and squaring Pluto, and them both lagging behind the Klingon home planet, your TV set will go on the blink just before the final scenes of the series-ending episode of 'The Sopranos' tonight. Go to the home of any Aquarian born person, who has never visited New York City or any state with a major waterway, to see the dramatic ending.
The chances of you ever getting married are less-than-zero (being a VIRGO), since around 7,500 B.C., the planet Vulcan has set up shop in your 11th house of Loneliness.

Can you spell 'SCAM'?
Sure you can, if you are a Scorpio with asteroid Ceres Aligned with the Moon
in your 8.75th house of Common Sense.

I saw a UFO last night... it was cool, but I wondered about their zodiac back home.

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