Monday, August 4, 2008

One of Those 'Good News, Bad News' Kind of Days

In the span of about 30 minutes this morning, between 6:45 and 7:15 a.m., another one of those rollercoaster moments for me.

With breakfast, I was checking my emails, and had replied to one from friend Hatless in Hattiesburg, when I opened and read a second email.

From the "Yahoo/MSN/ Windows Live Games Lottery" based in London, England, I learned that I had been chosen to win 300,000 British Pounds Sterling!! I was overcome with much gladness and joy!

The e-mail told me to convey three sets of numbers to another email address, that of the "Lottery Confirmation Office".

NOW, the Bad News....
My email account was suspended, as of 7:00 a.m. That's right, I cannot be reached at the email addy which had been chosen by Yahoo/MSN/Windows Live Games Lottery!

It seems that AT&T wants some money from me, sooner rather than later... though I find it really odd that I can still surf the Internet, only not my email through Yahoo!. Wow, you'd think that being behind a month or several would not break their bank....
Never one to be deterred, I have a backup e-mail account with Windows Live...
and while I was at work today, I decided that I would send the winning numbers of my huge lottery winnings by way of that email.

NOW, more good news:
Realizing that I am now a very wealthy man, I quit my job with the state of Oklahoma today, and plan to open an Indian bed and breakfast here on Sardis Lake!!

NOW, more bad news:
When I told my fiancee about my quitting my Oklahoma Tax Commission job, Leticia flipped out!! She cussed me like a sailor, she was so overtaken with joy,

although she has a funny way of showing it-
--for all the world, I mis-read her joy for real anger for some reason.

AND NOW, even more bad news:
With my usual email account overdrawn as it were, unpaid as it is, none of you readers can respond with your congratulatory best wishes to my unexpeced luck!!

I'm sure that all of you are as happy as can be for me, and as soon as I send AT&T about $60.00, my service will be back up, and your comments hereto can again flow. Which I will do, as soon as I receive my winnings~!

BUT NOW, some good news again:
What do I care?!? I am 300,000 Pounds heavier in my bank account, the routing and account numbers of which I need to email to that bunch as soon as I can, as soon

as I leave the bloggie here....

Exciting UPDATE: Despite the fact that right now, it is very early in London, specifically 4:30 a.m., that office is humming with excitement!
Look at what they just sent me, via my 'emergency email account':

Good to hear from you regarding the YAHOO/MSN PROMO. My names are Dr. Alex Beavis. (That link "PROMO" goes to the Nokia phone image exchange website-- Simply a formality, I'm sure!~)

I am the Yahoo/Msn Cash officer assigned to winners on the Yahoo/Msn sweepstake. In line with the commemorating event we collects all the email addresses of the people that are active online, among the millions that subscribed to the internet,we only select five people every Month as our winners through electronic balloting System without the winner applying,we congratulate you for being one of the people selected.

You are to contact the events manager on or before your date of Claim, Winners Shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Centre.

This promo is approved by the British Gaming Board and also licensed by the International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). This promo is the 1st of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public. To begin the verification process of your prize, you are required to fill and send the claims form below

I wish to on behalf of all members and staff of Yahoo/Msn Lottery congratulate you on your win and wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune.

You have to scan your international passport or your drivers licence to the nokia office.
Thank you for being among the Five lucky Winners.

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Alex Beavis

Uh, apparently, the British use verbs and use tense/person differently, grammatically, and freely split their infinitives willy-Nillyly,
differently than we Americans do, in writing...

~...and they're thanking me, "faithfully"....

well, peace be upon their heads...

That shows 'class'.

Here is the Local Malcontent's passport photo, circa 1993: >>>


Although I much prefer the Local Malcontent's
renewed, 2003 passport photograph: >>>>
wonder which Dr. Beavis would like to try using?


The Localmalcontent said...

I reckon that Dr. A. Beavis' partner, Dr. A. Butthead, is out of the office making coffee, even as we speak;

Anonymous said...

Nice splash of humor this morning Local Malcontent! Started my day off with a big smile!

Brother John
Lansdowne, Pennsylvania USA

GRANNY said...

Oh NO!!! *SLAPPING MY FOREHEAD* Please dont tell me you sent someone your bank account information over the internet to recieve some sterlling pounds. Lord have mercy. no no no no. What are you doing dear?

Jungle Mom said...

You had me going there for a minute.

Abouna said...

Now that you have won all that money, you will most likely meet many relatives you didn't know you had.

Jeffro said...

Congrats on your newfound wealth. Good news here, too! I'm going to improve my sex life for mere pennies every day!

The Localmalcontent said...

ROFL, Jeffro! What can you do for a couple bucks a day, I'm wondering?

Jeffro said...

Restoration to days gone by, my friend. Days gone by.