Thursday, September 11, 2008

Got My Planets All In A Row

I don't even know why, other than for 'entertainment purposes only', I read this stuff.
My Capricorn Horoscope for today, 09/11:


As long as you have your sights set on long-term goals now, you should be able to make a lot of progress. Your 10th House of Status is charged up by action-hero Mars, yet the conjunction from lovely Venus allows you to get away with being pushy. No one seems to mind your direct manner today as long as you take the time to listen to what they have to say, too.

I demand to know who this Martian action-hero is right now!, and why he's conjuncting with my lovely Venus. I'm calling Venus up as soon as I post this, and getting to the bottom of this.
In a 'very pushy way'.
Full knowing that when I do, the 'lovely Venus' will become the 'pushy Jupiter', my 10th House of Status will be my Main House of Cards once more, and I'll be nothing other than the man in the moon.
This Mars action-hero will still be around likely, to sweep up the debris.


JUST ONCE~ I'd love to read a horoscope which was undeniably accurate, like this:

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 20): Today you will get a string of unwaxed dental floss irretrievably lodged between your teeth. Neptune in your 4th House of Stupidity will conjunct Uranus, causing you to say a sexist remark to your boss. It all goes downhill from there, Capricorn, as well-meaning but wimpy neighbor, the Moon, squares off with action hero Mars on your behalf, as your ruling planet Saturn idly stands by watching... and grinning with all them rings...

4 comments:

Hatless in Hattiesburg said...

i'm amazed that there hasn't been a toy promotion for "action hero mars" from mars candy bars! just send in 12 proofs of purchase and $12.95 for shipping and handling...

The Localmalcontent said...

DONE ALREADY~!

With less than desirable, edible results, Hatless.

The Localmalcontent said...

Uh, note also at that link, the $$7.500.00 asking price for that toy promotion...

are we in the wrong line of work or WHAT?

Hatless in Hattiesburg said...

doh!!