Friday, November 6, 2009

~ And the Winner Is: Smart Old Butch

Lovingly, laughingly lifted from Uncle Neal's Boortz Blast, yesterday:

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so he could tell from a distance which rooster was 'performing'. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old B
utch, was a very fine specimen, but this one morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell - Piece Prize but, they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully next time, the bells are not always audible.


Spitfire said...

LM, that is hysterical!!! I had to smother my giggling so I wouldn't have to explain this to Little Critter. We have chickens and roosters and I just know that if I read this to him we'd have to put bells on our roosters....not a happy prospect as one of them is not sweet natured. Thanks for sharing a giggle, I needed one today!
Shalom, Spitfire

Most Rev. Gregori said...


The Local Malcontent said...

I had chickens too, before we married- actually, we gave them away to neighbors only this past April- and like you, I had one real mean rooster... it would've been torture to try to put a bell on 'Sockeye' too. He would attack when I'd go into the coop to pour out feed and collect eggs.