Saturday, January 4, 2014

"Here's Your Pizza, Some Parmesan, Now Gimme All the Money"

"One federal law enforcement official says the cast of characters ultimately linked to the crime is 'like a band of criminal misfits.' According to the FBI, those misfits began to turn on each other less than a month after Wells died.”

When I went back to work yesterday, after New Year's (plus Thursday off too), I was reminded of the gruesome Pizza delivery guy who robbed an Erie, Pennsylvania bank with a bomb attached to his neck, and who died from said bomb, when the police tracked him down and made him get out of his car.  Remember that?

All this came back to memory when I saw a Mazzio's Pizza deivery guy, wearing a thick, red scarf around his neck, leaving through the back door of Sallisaw's First National Bank.  
Through the employee door, or so I thought.

Anyway, back in August, 2003, the most bizarre bank robbery scheme ever, happened in Erie.

Supposedly, a middle-aged pizza delivery guy was taken hostage by two low-lifes, who attached a metal ring around his neck loaded with explosives, and told him to go rob a bank, follow some rules on paper, OR Die.


Which he did.  Rob a bank And Die.

The pizza delivery guy, Brian Wells, was a professional pizza 
delivery man (30 Erie years).

Four years after his parts were buried, Wells was named as a co-conspirator in the bank heist.
Because Nobody's That Stupid, Right??  Right?

Actual video of Well's explosive 'parting'" from this world is Here.  

What's more interesting to me are the other two co-conspirators in this plot.

The major criminal is a woman named Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong, 
a major Bi-yatch who wanted the (1) stolen bank loot, 
in order to (2) pay a hired killer to kill her father, 
so she could inherit a fortune.

She (3) hatched this plan, allegedly, with common-law husband Kenneth Barnes, and Wells & others, promising each of them thousands of dollars if their demented plan succeeded.

The basic synopsis of this man's story is very similar to the film 
'30 Minutes or Less', where a pizza delivery boy is called to deliver pizzas to a remote part of town. Two men kidnap the delivery boy and strap a bomb to his chest, informing him that he must rob a bank in order to receive a code to deactivate the bomb. The kidnappers were hoping to use the bank money to pay a hitman to kill the father of one kidnapper, in order to receive a large inheritance.

Despite the similarities to the case, the cast and filmmakers claimed to have had no prior knowledge of the incident, although the screenwriters admitted to being "vaguely aware" of it.

Brian D. Wells was to wear a fake bomb... At first.  
But somebody who didn't want to share the bounty with him, 
put real explosives into his neck harness.

Surprise!@! Boom!@!  Darwin Award Winner!@!

Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong received a sentence of Life plus 30 years.
**On July 29, 2008, U.S. District Court Judge Sean J. McLaughlin made an initial finding that Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong was mentally incompetent to stand trial for the bombing due to bipolar disorder, indicating that this ruling would be reviewed after Diehl-Armstrong had received a period of treatment in a mental hospital.

She said she was convicted unfairly and "was not part of this conspiracy."
"I am not a crazed killer," Diehl-Armstrong said in court. "The true killers are still out there."

^^Except that evidence shows she hatched a deadly bizarre bank robbery, murder for hire for inheritance scheme.
And got four other geniuses to go along with it....^^

**On November 1, 2010, Diehl-Armstrong was convicted of armed bank robbery, conspiracy to commit armed bank robbery, and of using a destructive device in a crime. She was sentenced to life plus 30 years on February 28, 2011.
**In November 2012 the Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit affirmed her conviction.
**In January 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court denied her petition for certiorari, declining to hear her case.


On September 3, 2008, Kenneth Barnes pleaded guilty to conspiring to rob a bank and to aiding and abetting. On December 3, 2008, Barnes was sentenced to 45 years in prison by a Federal judge in Erie for his role in the crime.





The whole amazing story is worth remembering, if only as a gentle reminder to tip your pizza delivery person a couple bucks, 
especially if he delivers, hot in under 30 minutes.  

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