Saturday, April 26, 2014

When It's Springtime in Alaska,
I't's 40 Below

And when it's springtime in Oklahoma, it's Tornado season.

But it turns out, that all of these formally traditional, recognized weather trends are all
DUE TO RECENT CLIMATE CHANGE

Drought in Southern California? Hurricanes in Florida? 
Blazing heat in Phoenix? Lake effect snowfall in Erie?

These climatic occurrences have never ever happened 
before now. (not to this level of widespread report)

It is all due to global warming/climate change, and you need to be scared senseless.

What if the wind blows so hard in your neighborhood next Thursday that some of your trees limbs break off and litter your yard?  That's unusual~ 
(compared to the other 364 days each year, the other 52 Thursdays this year), and it is due to the 
carbon footprint of humans since (first report) 1944.

The most massive, deadly tornado in U.S. history 
DID NOT happen in 1925.
The most massive, deadly hurricane in U.S. history 
DID NOT happen in 1900.
The most massive, deadly drought in U.S. history 
DID NOT happen in the 1930s.

I'm scared, and you should be, too.  
We need to pay some tax to someone 
to alleviate our souls,
shouldn't you agree? 

The Arctic ice is melting~!  
Are you not ashamed of your driving habits?
When it's springtime in Alaska, 
the Antarctic ice is surface slush, and less than 3 miles thick.

Every cloud in the sky, over your head, is there because you let your automobile idle an extra three minutes outside 
the Mini-Mart, while you went inside for a Dr. Pepper.
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE, ABUSIVE HUMAN.

LISTEN TO ME HERE AND NOW~ I'M AGONNA TELL YOU THE TRUTH:

Since there is no higher God than mankind, and no higher human authority than Al Gore and the United Nations, 

And since we constantly 

evolve in our knowledge,  
abundant, carbon-based fuels which we once thought was our privilege to use, including burning wood to heat our homes, cook our meat, and power our cities, are now understood to be damaging to our Earth. 

Unrepairably damaging to our precious Earth and Her delicate Exosphere.


Obviously no so-called, "Omnipotent God", could have
foreseen that~

It's your fault when Moore, Oklahoma is hit with 

another F-5 tornado.
It's your fault when New Orleans, Louisiana is hit with 
another Cat. 5 hurricane.

Pay Your Guilt Tax, and Assuage Your Guilt, and Justify Your Annoying Existence.

Signed, 

Any Given Democrat Politician




2 comments:

Mike said...

So far there's been fewer tornadoes in 2014 than any other time since those statistics have been kept.

I have my doubts about the data for climate change; it's well-known the scientists have fudged the figures, plus I do not believe we have enough of a timeline on accurate measurements. (A yr. or so ago I had an email exchange with a young lady about temperature instrumentation and I *think* I had at least caused her to reconsider her Green Nazi ways. I plan on creating a post about it someday and another on fracking)

All the "Chicken Little" doomsters have had the wind taken out of their sails. The ice at the poles is not decreasing, the temperature has risen only a negligible amt., the world's birth rate is slowing down and pollution, at least in the U.S., has lessened. Their rage needs to be redirected from the U.S. and most of the western world onto China, India and S. America which is cutting down rain forests at an alarming rate. China in particular is adding the most CO2 to the atmosphere and polluting their land, water and air to near uninhabitable levels in some areas.

BTW,I let my domain name lapse, had a devil of a time getting it all straight this a.m. It can still be accessed via the old blogspot URL.

The Local Malcontent said...

you raise several interesting points in your comment, Mike.
"so far there's been fewer tornadoes... " that may well all change today, Apr. 27. all the weather forecasts are calling for doom to begin around 3:30 today, until after midnight.

Stay tuned.

Of course you are correct about all the so-called "statistics" on global warming; it was exposed about 4 years ago, that worldwide temperature data was fudged to support the hysteria argument.
1998 was the last year of great temperatures, and the world's temps. IN FACT have been at normal since, what, 15+ years now.

No one ever takes into account the effects of our Star, Sol. OR, the rise in temperatures on Mars, Jupiter and Saturn which haven't yet reached the industrial revolution stage of development.

It is a Nazi type inculcation.
Good observation, man~!

And lastly, you point out that both China and India are record setters these days at carbon pollution.
THAT coincides with their industrialization, I believe; our factory jobs moved there, along with the pollution emissions.

Did you only buy "TopofTexasGazette.com" for one year? Will you be able to fix??