Saturday, May 10, 2014

"Daddy, Please"

On Friday night in Milwaukee, a young fan climbed the third base line wall and ran onto the field of play 
to confront Derek Jeter, All Time Star shortstop 
for the visiting New York Yankees.

The diminutive lad, clad in a Brewers, Ryan Braun jersey, 
came up to Jeter asking, "Daddy, why won't you come see me? Is it because I'm a runt?  Is it because I'm a quarter breed?"

"Why Daddy, WHY?  All I want from you is your love, and a Ford truck, when I turn 17 next March.  Look at me!  I am your child, your seed, your offspring.  I want to be just like YOU when I grow up!!"

Game films show that Jeter, surprised by the 'fan's sudden appearance', was taken aback, stepping back a few feet, before County Stadium security personnel rushed in and tackled the youth, gagging and restraining him, and escorting him from the baseball diamond infield.

In a terse, post game response to the incident, the Yankee star admitted that, "... yeah, I remember his mother Jennifer.  We had some good times together, back when my team last visited Milwaukee in 1997.... tha' night when we beat th' Brewers
8 to Nothin', me an' (Yankee first baseman Tino) Martinez met these girls at th' Burger King store on Southeast 20th street...." 
Then, Jeter, after a long pause and reflection, sighed, 

i'm having issues, headaches

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