Friday, November 14, 2014

The Charm, The Warmth of Our Next President, Joe R. Biden


Folks, I'm convinced. 
So much so, that I'm throwing my support TODAY behind the candidacy and the election, of Vice President Joe Biden, for President in 2016.

You can count on me, Joe, to contribute to your campaign frequently and often, and that's also true of the way I will vote for you as well~!
Why, I'll even go door-knocking for your campaign... over in California... (gosh, Joe, people around here know me, so it would be kinda weird, you understand).

The way I (and the WFB) see it, you have at least 5, and maybe even 6 things going for you, in your quest in becoming our 45th controversial leader; the Joe Biden presidential campaign has, for all intents and purposes, already begun. With Obama having abdicated his Veterans Day duties in order to attend a dictator summit in Communist China, YOU stepped up to the plate on Tuesday by laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery.

Because the 2014 midterms were another terrible failure for your potential challenger Hillary Clinton, and because the chances of Mr. Obama resigning before the new GOP-controlled Senate takes office in January are high, you are strongly positioned to lead the Democratic Party into the future on those gimpy, 74-year-old knees too.


And Joe, just look at all these pretty Blue States, just
a-waiting to cast their winning Electoral College Votes for you!

     


  • YOU are NOT Barry hUSs Obama:    
     So it's not likely you could do any worse as president. Your personalities couldn’t be any more different. Obama is an academic smartypants; you are an Average Joe who is far more comfortable in a go-kart than in a lecture hall. You'd rather hold a squirt gun than a history book. Whereas Obama is aloof and anti-social, you love to be the center of attention. 



The veep's not afraid to get in there and mix things up, are ya, 'Regular Joe from Scranton, PA', and you don't care about making a “gaffe” or dropping an F-bomb on live television.  You have a proven track record of working across the aisle.  Obama prevaricates and surrenders in the face of tyranny; America’s adversaries don’t respect him. You, Joe, wouldn’t have this problem because you are universally loved. Plus, there’s always the chance you might suffer a manic episode and launch all of our nukes at them.



And, you know how to deal with 
people who cross red lines, like that sassy little Iranian girl.



     It's time for one of us to go to work.
     You have a good day, alright, Joe?  Nurse, I'm leaving now~


(with my kindest apologies/highest regards to author, Editor Andrew Stiles)

3 comments:

Mike said...

I went down to visit a childhood friend this last weekend; while I was there, I helped him finishing cutting and stacking some firewood he had cut from a dying tree on the edge of his property.

I'm going to vote for what's left of that old tree. Why? Well, it was as old or older than Biden and before it was dying, it served a more useful purpose during its life - providing shade during the hot Texas summers and was home to countless generations of squirrels and birds. Then there's the fact that the stump is infinitely more smarter than him.

The Local Malcontent said...

Please don't spread the word, man, that the old stump is on the ballot~, because it would definitely WIN.
I'm heading out later today to cut firewood with my BF Marty, so his family will be warm this brutally cold winter upcoming. .. and get a break on wood for myself, if I come up short around January or February or June next year!

Mike said...

If I had to make a choice between ol' Joe and Shillary, it'd be Biden, hands down. Thank God I don't have to make that choice, though, but the most ignorant voters will.