Saturday, January 3, 2015

Posted to FaceBroke:
Senate Jackass Breaks His Jawbone

~ It hurts so much when he Twitters now, too.

In what can only be described as a Freak accident, Nevada Senator Harry Reid was apparently severely injured Thursday, New Year's Day, at his home in Henderson. 
A piece of exercise equipment allegedly broke "while the Freak was working out" causing the leading Senate Jackass to fall flat on his face, thus fracturing Reid's cheek and jaw bones, and breaking several ribs as well, according to the Senator's attorneys,
Dewey, Cheatem and Steele.

Sell all your stock in that sports equipment company, yesterday...

The former amateur boxer, whose boxing record like Barry Obama's university grades, are sealed from inspection, was resting comfortably overnight at University Medical Center in Las Vegas.

However Reid's spokesperson, Heidi deMonee said the brave Senator would be back at work very soon, looking for ways to protect America's elderly from the Koch brothers' flimsy, dangerous, workout equipment industry.

Fortunately for Senator Reid, he is not mandated to subscribe to ObamaCare, single payer health insurance.

Mr. Reids' insurance premium is $36.00 per month for his family's full coverage.  As yours used to be.

3 comments:

Mike said...

...looking for ways to protect America's elderly from the Koch brothers' flimsy, dangerous, workout equipment industry.

Now THAT is funny.

The Local Malcontent said...

thanks Mike~
I wanted to add, "Now There's A Profitable Pay for View Topic" somewhere. Instead I went with another former boxer, Mr. Monty Burns

The Local Malcontent said...

OMG, he's still moving~

I just thought of another, zany angle to this story.

Title: "Thrown to The Floor, And You're To Blame"
Lead: "You gave Reid a bad pain, bad pain"