Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Those Wacky Muslims & Their Ignorant "Fatwas"

Keep Muslim men frustrated; keep Muslim women in fear; Don't draw any faces! Don't draw any prophets~!
Don't play Chess.  Don't play Western football.  Don't have a pet dog.  Don't build snowmen.  Don't use emoticons while texting.

Some of the "DO's":

Muslims can and should bathe in, & drink the urine of camels. Muslim men can and should have sex with camels.

Imams can and should kiss, fondle and share sex with little boys... you know you want it....

This "religion", Islam, is nothing less than of the mind of the Devil, himself.  Otherwise, why would Muslims choose death over life, since the Devil makes their lives, their loves so ugly and grotesque???  

Hell, if I were born a Muslim,
I'd want to die, too.  

Hey, they are so restricted, so regressive that life would be a severe burden, simply keeping up with the multitude of insane translations of the Quran.

Urine is holy in Islam.  (That tells me all I need to know....) Drinking the urine of the Prophet Mohammed is a blessed event, as if there is still any left, after 1400 years.
Yes- this is an official fatwa.

Other satanic, false, Muslim dictates include A Saudi cleric declaring that the sun revolves around the Earth, a clear rejection of all scientific evidence; and that the Earth is a flat disc; and Satan lives in your nose.  Your ugly, Muslim nose.

Now you might understand Muslims:  They cannot disavow or leave their stupid, nonsense religion, nor can they hope to advance, as a result, from the 7th Century, A.D.  I've researched "Weird Fatwas" for over an hour,
and now I want to kill somebody as a result~!

Fatwas are "Official Determinations" of Islamic Law, or Sharia.  Some of the most pointed fatwas are featured below:

In 2011, the head of the Moroccan Association for Jurisprudence Research stirred both outrage and controversy when he issued a fatwa allowing Muslim men to have sex with their just-deceased wives, under the pretext that nothing in Islam prohibits sex with corpses. This fatwa followed a series of sex-related ones issued by the same cleric.

In Somalia, the ultraconservative al-Shabaab al-Mujahedin Movement issued a fatwa during the holy month of Ramadan prohibiting the consumption of sambousak, a "triangular" pastry stuffed with meat, cheese, or vegetables. The popular snack, they explained, is a symbol of the Trinity of Christianity, therefore must not to be consumed by Muslims.

The most outrageous fatwa in Egypt was one that came out in June, 2011, in which Egyptian preacher Mohamed al-Zoghbi said eating the meat of the jinn is permissible in Islam and left everyone wondering how anyone can get hold of them in the first place, let alone eat their meat.
That’s because the “jinn” the hardline Salafi preacher was referring to are demons or genies in English. A United Arab Emirates newspaper explained that what the Sheikh really meant was that it’s OK for Muslims to eat livestock that are possessed by demons.

Taking a stealthy look at your bathing fiancee--
Social network users circulated a video of preacher Ossama al-Quosy, who said it was permissible for a man to take a quick, stealthy look at his fiancee while she is showering, only on the condition that he has an earnest intention of getting married to her.

Open buffet is “haram”--Saudi preacher and member of Saudi Arabia’s senior scholars authority, Saleh al-Fawzan, had the lion’s share of contentious fatwas during 2014, most notably that open buffet banquets are impermissible on the basis that they do not quote a clear price for transactions.

Living on Mars impermissible--One of the weirdest fatwas was made by United Arab Emirates’ General Authority for Islamic Affairs and Endowments, prohibiting life on Mars.
In an official statement, the authority said living on Mars was against Islam, responding to Dutch-run project, Mars One, which proclaims plans for a human colony on the red planet by 2025.  The authority’s argument was that heading to Mars would resemble a suicide given the dangers such a step could involve.

~Now this one gives me pause to laugh out loud:  If "suicide" is considered Halal, or Forbidden under Islam, as in the dangers of a voyage to Mars, One Way, then what's up with the suicide bombers, most frequently used in Islamic attacks on Western Civilization?  
Isn't that another, usual contradiction, under the strained understanding of Islam?

With no centralized Islamic religious authority like a Pope or Dalai Lama, pretty much any Muslim “scholar” can create a fatwa, a religious edict for modern life supposedly guided by the Quran or the (less authoritative) hadiths- stories from Muhammad’s life. In recent years, supply has far outstripped demand, and it’s getting laughable.
Most fatwas are harmless and a little mundane, but lately, some Islamic jurists have gone straight crazy.

Fatwa: Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz: 
The Sun Revolves Around the Earth
In a 2000 Fatwa titled “The Transmitted and Sensory Proofs of the Rotation of the Sun and Stillness of the Earth”, Saudi Arabian Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz asserted that the earth was flat and disk-like and that the sun revolved around it.
He had insisted that satellite images to the contrary were nothing but a Western conspiracy against the Islamic world.
Source: Al-Ahram Weekly Issue 477, 13-19 April, 2000.9
Satanic Verses

The Satanic Verses

Ayatollah Khomeini: Kill for A Book None of Us Can Should Read!  In 1988, publication of Salman Rushdie’s novel “The Satanic Verses” led Iranian revolutionary leader Ayatollah Khomeini to issue a fatwa against Rushdie, with a huge bounty for his death. This triggered several attacks on the novel’s translators, publishers and booksellers, including the murder of Japanese translator Hitoshi Igarashi. Millions of Muslims around the world who had never read a single line of the book, and who had never even met Rushdie before, wanted him dead.

Interesting fact, 24% of Iranians at the time couldn’t even read.

Source: “The West Is Choked by Fear”, Der Speigel Jan 4, 2010, Henryk Broder8


The Fatwa: Malaysian National Fatwa Council:
A University of Massachusetts study recently reported that girls who play sports have higher self esteem, and are less likely to enter (or remain in) abusive relationships. Could this fact have threatened the he-men at the Malaysia National Fatwa Council? Maybe. Perhaps that’s why Kuala Lumpur had a near riot on their hands when the Sisters in Islam marched against a Malaysian fatwa banning tomboys, which branded any girls who act un-ladylike as violating Islamic tenets. Fortunately, the as-yet undefined punishment for Malaysian girls in t-shirts and jeans hasn’t been incorporated into Sharia law yet.

Source: The Malaysian Insider7

The Fatwa: Bring Me the Head of Mickey Mouse  
That’s right, somebody put on hit on Mickey Mouse. Calling Mickey “one of Satan’s soldiers,” Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajid decreed that household mice and their cartoon cousins must be “killed in all cases”, according to the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph.  
And get this—the guy’s not your average nutjob, either—Munajid used to be a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington D.C.

He made the remarks on Arab television network al-Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice. 
But don’t worry, Mickey won’t be alone. Munajid also put a hit on Jerry from “Tom and Jerry”. 
Maybe they could rent a flat with Salman Rushdie.

Source: Report: Saudi Cleric Says Mickey Mouse ‘Must Die’.

The Fatwa: Multaqa Ahl al Hadeeth: Emoticon fatwaI can almost get behind this one. Sure, they’re annoying, but evil? 

Really? Well, to a Muslim forum looking to make a name for itself—yes.

  According to Muslim Internet Forum Multaqa Ahl al Hadeeth, “Emoticons are forbidden because of its imitation to Allah’s creatures whether it is original or mixture or even
deformed one and since the picture is the face and the face is what makes the real picture then emoticons which represent faces that express emotions then all that add up to make them Haram.” 


Additionally, “A woman should not use these images when speaking to a man who is not her mahram, because these faces are used to express how she is feeling, so it is as if she is smiling, laughing, acting shy and so on, and a woman should not do that with a non-mahram man. It is only permissible for a woman to speak to men in cases of necessity, so long as that is in a public chat room and not in private correspondence.”
Source: Jihadwatch5


Iranian-Women-Playing-SoccerThe Fatwa:

Not even the beautiful game is safe from stupid fatwas. As part of a government drive to eliminate frivolous fatwas, the Saudi newspaper Al Watan lampooned one very real edict setting out new rules for football. 
Ridiculous demands included “do not play with 11 people like the heretics, Jews, and Christians”, and “play in your pyjamas or regular clothes (because) colored shorts and numbered T-shirts are not Muslim clothing”.

Especially ridiculous is the edict to “remove the crossbar in order not to imitate the heretics and in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system’s despotic international rules.”
Source: “A Fatwa on Football”, The Guardian, Monday 31 October 2005.4

The Fatwa: Infidel Vaccine

Polio is actually increasing in India, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Why? Because an anti-polio fatwa by anti-Western clerics forbid Pakistani children from immunizations, because the clerics are saying the vaccine is a conspiracy to make Muslims sterile. Ironically, it’s the clerics’ plans that would produce this result, as dead/paralytic kids don’t breed all that much. Source: “POLIO ERADICATION: Looking for a Little Luck”,

Roberts Science 6 February 20093

Nudity and Sex
The Fatwa: No Nudity for Sex 

In 2007, the former dean of Islamic law at al-Azhar University in Cairo issued a fatwa that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage between husband and wife.
Debate was immediate. Imagine That~!!

Suad Saleh, head of the women’s department of Al-Azhar’s Islamic studies, pleaded for “anything that can bring spouses closer to each other” and Islamic scholar Abdel Muti concurred, saying “Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy.”

For his part, Al-Azhar’s fatwa committee chairman Abdullah Megawar backpedaled and said that married couples could see each other naked but should really cover up with a blanket during sex.
Source: SimplyDumb2

The Fatwa: Sheik Ali Gomaa: Urine Fatwa

According to Egypt’s Grand Mufti, Sheikh Ali Gomaa, drinking the urine of Muhammad is deemed a great blessing. What, they have a lot of this stuff lying around, going to waste or something? Remember, Muhammad never claimed that he himself was divine—so why does his piss have magic properties? Failing to pass the laugh test with Muslim scholars, Mufti later recanted, saying it was only his “personal opinion”.

Source: “A Fatwa Free-for-All in the Islamic World”, New York Times, Michael Slackman Published: Monday, June 11, 20071


The Fatwa: Ezzat Attiya: Adult Breastfeeding in the Workplace 
In May 2007, Ezzat Attiya wondered how unrelated men and women could work together in the same office, when Islam forbids men and women who aren’t married or related to be alone together. 
His answer: let her suckle him FIVE TIMES. 
Yes, that’s right, an adult female breastfeeding an adult male coworker will defuse all sexual tension in the office. 
See, the female worker will now be the male worker’s foster mother, and they can be alone together anytime. 
Attiya’s ruling was intergalactically mocked, and quickly condemned on the homefront as well. He was later suspended from his job, pilloried in Arab newspapers, and issued a hasty retraction saying it was a “bad interpretation of a particular case.”

Source: “A Fatwa Free-for-All In the Islamic World”, New York Times, Michael Slackman, Monday, June 11, 2007.

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